Happiness in a Train
First I didn’t get him. All I saw, his swollen lips were
murmuring something and he was pointing towards his bag, kept below seat near
his foot. I asked, what? His lips moved again. But still I was not able
to hear anything. What is wrong with this person? And, then I remembered, oh
God, my Ipod! I removed the white coloured earphone with little embarrassment.
I was really sorry and I was going to express that. But then, I heard
him; offering me a crazy proposal, which was titillating and outrageous at the
same time. Do you want a peg? His fingers were in a position like
holding a glass. I didn’t fully comprehend him first. Is he out of his mind?
Offering me a drink, a complete stranger and more than 20 years older than me! And
that too here, in a moving train!!! I simply didn’t know how to react. I nodded
my head negatively and was about to plug in back the earphone; I heard him
telling that he wouldn’t mind if I joined him. I pretended not to listen this
time and plugged in earphone into ears. Eminem was playing ‘Lose Yourself’ by
then, one of my all time favourite songs. I wanted to sink in the solid lyrics
and rhythmic beats, but to my surprise, curiosity had already mounted and I found
myself stealing glances to this stranger, sitting in front of me, pouring a
water coloured liquid in a plastic glass from an innocent looking water bottle.
I was dumbfounded and at same time entertained by his courage. I mean it is
illegal to consume alcohol in train compartment and that too openly, without even
a formal permission of co-passengers; but this person was seemed to be least
bothered of those facts. He continued his drinking and kept offering others in
vain. I knew by my natural intuition that he was not being liked by anyone
here, by any of co-passengers. But strangely he was looking happy. Before he
shifted his attention to me, I stared away, now through the window, to the moving
horizon.
I was on my way to Chennai from Delhi on a tatkal ticket
in Duronto Express and though I preferred an A/C ticket, I landed with a
sleeper one, partly due to the legendary speed of IRCTC server during tatkal
time and partly due to my laziness, not wanting to stand in queue for several
hours in a railway station. But services of sleeper in Duronto was
comparatively better than others, for its inclusive foods (though
discrimination is obvious; menu of A/C is different) and a bedroll. And most of
all, there is a power-plug in each coupe, which actually was the main driving
force for me to prefer A/C classes! Everything was fine, except this strange
person. I saw after some time, he became completely drunk and rode up the upper
bunker to sleep. And that moment, a strange thought came to me. How this
person can be so happy, when nobody likes him?
My simple motto of living is to be happy. But I screwed
up badly. After thirty years of living, can I say that I’m happy? You are right
buddy. I am taking a long pause before answering. And my answer is predictable
too. Well, you know, life is complicated. Then what’s about this train guy!
How can he be so happy and courageous and confident about his own choices? How
he can go to sleep in upper bunker after being drunk in a public train and
drawing ire of fellow passengers? I didn’t know then and I don’t know now. But
I was bound to compare my life with him late that night. And, to my disgust, I
felt inferior. I don’t look sad, grumpy or wrinkled old. I also am not
frustrated or depressed and I laugh a lot. I have a job, many people consider more
secure than Presidential Bunker in White House! Then why in the deep down heart
I feel that I’m not happy.
Anatomy of a failed and disgruntled past is always painful,
but the autopsy often leads to a clearer picture. I recollected that night,
painfully, my decisions of past, some willingly, some by force. I cursed myself
for being un-pragmatic and non-futuristic. I felt jealousy towards my ‘better-doing’
friends, settled in dream countries. I thought I would cry and scream till my
last breath to my ill-fate. And slowly then, I started to remember the good
things happened to me. And I remembered my father’s advice, a wrong decision
is better than indecision. Atleast I tried to be happy and still dream of
that. I felt good. Though I was sure that sleep was the last thing in that
night, but with slow rhythm of train I sunk into the dark, didn’t know when.
Next day, I woke up with high pitched voices. Two persons
were shouting at each other, and one of them was that ‘drunk’ passenger. He
seemed very angry with an old Sardar, whose seat was in the same coupe, but at
the side upper. I asked a young boy, probably a college-student, about the
cause of this sudden ‘outbreak’. He smiled at me and told me something I was
not ready to. I started laughing. Yesterday this ‘happy’ person had offered
drink to that Sardar too among others, but Sardar denied; and he claimed in
morning that in midnight he had noticed Sardar taking patiyala pegs, secretly. He
charged Sardar in morning for being unfriendly yesterday, and hell broke loose.
I got up, and went to the toilet.
But how peculiar! A sudden relief came to me by watching
this ‘Happy Man’ unhappy too.
Comments
But overall.... again a nice piece of writing. Loved the way you ended it (i.e. with a happy note).