An Impossible Life

Yesterday we had a small gathering – a sort of dinner party, honoring the little one’s arrival in this world. The gathering is the latest among many. She’s here only for twenty days and she’s receiving attention of all the joyous well-wishers – celebrating for her - jeering and cheering her tiny trivialities, even her obvious irascibilities. We, the parents too are receiving huge compliments – being congratulated often for bringing such a doll into existence. Into existence. But to where? And for what purpose?

The questions came when I watched the baby after the guests left. She seemed to be restless and crying for probably being disturbed. She’s getting habitual to this world. She doesn’t know the applicable norms and customs to be followed before guests and hopefully, she’ll learn them pretty soon, because that is what expected from her. And she has to comply.

While she was on my lap – whimpering occasionally – I couldn’t help but thinking the obvious. The Purpose. The Choice. The Freedom. What is the purpose of the new member of the human species? What choice does the member have? Except submerging herself into rules made by this species, most of which are simply survival tricks. What freedom we, the beloved parents did offer to her? She did born at ‘our’ choice – she has already tasted the first shackle of life, among many to be followed.

This planet is not tailormade for humans – humans as a species is in survival mode for the last tens of thousands of years after it attained the most precious gift or the most odious curse – ‘consciousness’. It is the only animal in this planet which knows that it’s going to die. And that knowledge sucked the fun of existence. Averting death becomes the pivotal task of a human throughout its life, ironically until death. Next important task is to find happiness. To divert the agonizing brutal pain of life (diseases – accidents - death of dear ones), happiness is defined by some humans, who tell us to find joy in simple things – in family, in environment, in society. Procreation thus becomes a source of happiness, despite bringing a life only to be suffered by the brutality of uncertainties and ultimately by a confirmed death.

By now she had stopped moving and her breath was slow and steady. She was falling asleep deeply on my lap. I know she has to learn tricks of survival for twenty years, and then apply those lessons for years to come for staying afloat in an alternate reality, not set by nature, but by us. All of her energy will be invested towards finding ‘happiness’, while she will slowly but confirmedly approach towards ultimatum, forgetting her true nature and that she is a fellow animal in this planet. Like me and billions of humans, she will find her consciousness driving her crazy – maybe settling for a temporary solution – recourse of family, religion, spirituality, society or a belief system, which will help her to be away from a brutal reality – which is the only truth.

I am not a pessimist and this ‘Anti-Natalism’ doesn’t work for me. The positivity of life is colorful, not greyscale like in a reality where life is purposeless, and birth is torture. Given a thousand times, I will choose the alternate reality over the natural, because a false hope is always better than no hope.

She has a face like her mother, a person I love. Her eyes are little round ones – full of curiosity. Though strictly reason-wise, it was logical for her not to be born in this cruel and uncertain world, but she is going to be loved and cared for sure. Moments of happiness, bits of joy and occasional laughter will surely subdue ruthless pain and sufferings in her life. Death will be belittled before love, a tool of ultimate survival.

And we gonna teach her abundant love. We must. For her sake. For our sake.