It was a Murder!!!!

The suicide of Priya Vedi is more than disturbing. The unfortunate instance directly poses itchy questions to our society (read us) and drags our conscience to the pit of hypocrisy. Some are enraged in social media about her decision to quit, while others seek validity of her announced reasons. But hardly a few watch the broader picture here. That how much double-standards hidden in us are reopened by this single act of suicide. That still how much vulnerable are our womenfolk in this ‘impressive’ society.

The case of Priya Vedi is exemplary because Ms. Vedi was academically and professionally successful, was a doctor, destined to save others and was independent and a woman; even then she preferred to be just a ‘woman’, a helpless ‘Indian Woman’, who conforms the typical mindset of an Indian man, despite having options of becoming a leading story of women empowerment. One of my female friends painfully described her anger for Ms. Vedi’s ill-decision in fb, and while agreeing with her just rage, I simply cannot blame the departed soul. Not because it is meaningless now or it is rude, but because she did not commit suicide. A quote from the popular movie ‘3 Idiots’ will be apt. ‘It was a murder’.

Her post in fb just before suicide, which is turned down by authority by now, starts with a sentence that is key here. ‘Hello everyone, I want to remind something to our society’. We all feel the odd expectations of society and it’s vile side-effects on our lives. And thus we change, we compromise and we die. Ms. Vedi actually conformed her role and she has paid her price. She waited five years as a ‘good’ wife for her husband’s love. Her extended family or close friends might discourage her of taking ‘stupid’ step of ending her relationship with ‘Pati Parameshwar’. Just ask ourselves, how many of us would have advised the poor girl of getting a divorce or an extra marital affair? We probably still shall not suggest the same to somebody close similar in her situation. We would’ve told, ‘be patient, everything will be fine’. She alleged that her husband wasn’t interested in her and had several gay partners. A gayish partner may be appalling, but its real and a fact. But Ms. Vedi despite being a high class doctor couldn’t accept the same like thousands of us. The concept of homosexuality is acceptable, till it doesn’t reach home. Think about us. We all are Priya Vedi here. She probably couldn’t tell the ‘horrified’ and ‘insulting’ truth about her own husband, a fellow handsome doctor to her friends or family, and even if she tried to, she might have been advised to seduce her husband in bed, as she has wrote in note. In the land of Rambha, Menaka, Urvashi, is there any man who can’t be seduced? And more over, even her way of ending life by slitting wrist was painfully classic and conforms to the accepted version of suicide of women in our society, as glorified in movies, literatures or local customs. Thus our society informally dictates also the ways of suicide. If the reason is quarrel then by hanging, if depression then by sleeping pills or if the reason is rejected love, then by slashing wrist. Priya Vedi conformed that.

And she is not alone. Thousands of women are being fatalities by these society dictated weird norms in our land. Irony is, most of the victims unconsciously support and follow these norms even by death. And the biggest irony is, our present education system and professional environment make them more oblivious to their true selves. It’s a vicious cycle, and a murderous trap.